Military families often endure the unique and profound challenge of long periods of separation, as one parent or partner is frequently deployed or stationed away from home. These separations, often extended and unpredictable, can place a heavy emotional burden on families, including both the partner at home and the children. From dealing with the absence of a loved one during important milestones to managing day-to-day responsibilities, military families face hurdles that require resilience and adaptability.

In this blog post, we’ll explore the challenges faced by military families during these periods of separation and offer strategies to help them manage the time apart.

The Challenges Faced by Military Families

Women dressed in a military uniform embraces family.

1. Emotional Strain:

Feelings of Loneliness: The absence of a partner or parent can create a deep sense of loneliness and isolation for the family members at home. This can be especially difficult during significant events like birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries.
Anxiety and Worry: The uncertainty and danger of a military deployment can cause anxiety for the partner at home, who may worry constantly about their loved one’s safety. This stress can also affect children, who may struggle with feelings of fear or confusion.

2. Increased Responsibility:

Solo Parenting: The partner at home often takes on the role of both parents, juggling the demands of childcare, household management, and work. The additional responsibilities can be overwhelming, particularly during times of crisis or emergency.
Maintaining Stability: Keeping a stable home environment for children during a parent’s deployment can be difficult. Children may feel the absence keenly, and the parent at home must work to provide emotional and physical stability.

3. Communication Challenges:

Limited Contact: Military deployments often come with restrictions on communication, meaning families may not be able to connect as frequently as they’d like. Time zone differences, limited internet access, or sudden lapses in communication can add to the emotional strain.
Miscommunication: When contact is brief and sporadic, there can be misunderstandings or miscommunications that create further stress between partners.

4. Impact on Children:

Behavioral Changes: Children may struggle with the emotional impact of having a parent away. This can manifest in behavioral changes such as acting out, withdrawal, or difficulty concentrating in school.
Feelings of Loss: Children may feel as though they are missing out on important moments with their absent parent, leading to feelings of sadness or resentment.

Strategies for Managing Time Apart

1. Establish Routines for Stability:

Consistent Daily Schedule: Maintaining a daily routine can provide children with a sense of security and normalcy. Set regular times for meals, homework, and bedtime to help them feel grounded even when one parent is away.
Special Rituals: Create rituals or routines that help the absent parent remain part of the family's life. This could be a weekly video call, a nightly routine of looking at a photo or sending a “goodnight” message from the deployed parent.

2. Prioritize Communication:

Scheduled Calls: Set up regular times for calls, video chats, or letters so that everyone knows when they’ll be able to connect. Having something to look forward to can help ease the emotional strain of separation.
Creative Communication: When regular calls aren’t possible, find creative ways to stay connected. Record videos, send care packages, or create a shared journal where the parent at home and the deployed parent can write to each other and share experiences.

3. Stay Emotionally Connected:

Involve the Absent Parent: Involve the deployed parent in daily life, even from afar. Share updates on school activities, family news, and everyday moments. Encourage children to share their drawings, schoolwork, or videos with the absent parent to keep them connected to home.
Family Updates: Create a routine of sending family updates or photos that highlight positive moments. This helps maintain emotional bonds and makes the absent parent feel more involved in the family's life.

4. Build a Support Network:

Community Support: Lean on military support networks, local community organizations, or other military families who understand the challenges of deployment. These networks can offer emotional support, practical help, and a sense of belonging during difficult times.
Extended Family: Involve extended family members, such as grandparents, aunts, or uncles, to help provide support. Whether it's assistance with childcare, attending school events, or simply offering a listening ear, family support can ease the burden.

5. Focus on Self-Care:

Manage Stress: Prioritize self-care for the parent at home. Engage in activities that reduce stress, whether it’s exercising, reading, or spending time with friends. Taking care of one’s mental and physical health is vital to being able to care for the children and household effectively.
Seek Professional Help if Needed: Don’t hesitate to seek counseling or mental health support if the emotional strain becomes overwhelming. Many military families experience high levels of stress, and talking to a professional can provide valuable coping strategies.

The challenges faced by military families when one parent is away on deployment are significant, but they are not insurmountable. By establishing routines, prioritizing communication, staying emotionally connected, building a support network, and focusing on self-care, families can navigate the time apart with resilience and strength. The time spent apart is never easy, but by working together and staying connected, military families can maintain strong bonds and a sense of unity, no matter the distance.