Building Family Cohesion During the Holiday Season When One Parent Works Away

The holiday season is traditionally a time for togetherness, but when one parent or partner works away from home, it can create challenges to family cohesion. From coordinating schedules to maintaining traditions and managing emotions, the absence of a loved one can make this festive time feel bittersweet.

Despite these challenges, families can still strengthen their bonds and maintain a sense of unity. With thoughtful planning and intentional strategies, it’s possible to celebrate the season meaningfully, even across the distance.

The Importance of Family Cohesion

Family cohesion refers to the emotional connection and sense of togetherness that family members share. It’s the glue that holds relationships together, providing a foundation of trust, support, and shared values. During the holiday season, maintaining this connection is especially important for:

• Emotional Well-Being: Close family bonds can reduce stress and foster a sense of security.
• Tradition and Continuity: Celebrating shared traditions strengthens the family identity, even when circumstances change.
• Support for Children: Consistent family connection helps children feel secure, even in the absence of a parent.

When one parent or partner is away for work, the physical separation can disrupt these bonds. However, it’s possible to nurture cohesion with intentional efforts.

Strategies for Maintaining Family Cohesion During the Holidays

1. Create Shared Experiences Across the Distance
   • Why It Helps: Participating in the same activities, even while apart, fosters a sense of connection and shared purpose.
   • What to Do:
     • Schedule a video call to bake holiday cookies or decorate the tree together.
     • Share photos and videos of daily holiday activities, like making crafts or attending events.
     • Watch the same holiday movie simultaneously and chat about it in real-time.
   • Bonus Tip: Use technology to include the distant family member in traditions, like reading a favorite holiday story over video.
2. Maintain Key Traditions
   • Why It Helps: Familiar traditions provide a sense of stability and connection to family values, even during challenging times.
   • What to Do:
     • Keep holiday rituals alive, such as lighting the menorah, setting up stockings, or sharing a gratitude circle.
     • Adapt traditions to include the absent partner, such as sending them a holiday care package with items from home.
     • Create new traditions that work with the distance, like writing letters to each other or recording holiday messages.
   • Bonus Tip: Involve kids in planning how to adapt traditions, giving them a sense of control and participation.
3. Communicate Openly and Often
   • Why It Helps: Clear communication builds emotional connection and reduces misunderstandings caused by physical separation.
   • What to Do:
     • Set aside regular times to talk, whether through calls, texts, or video chats.
     • Discuss holiday plans in advance so everyone feels included and aware of what to expect.
     • Share feelings openly, acknowledging any sadness or frustration about the separation while focusing on positive moments.
   • Bonus Tip: Create a countdown calendar for the absent parent’s return or for a special holiday event, helping kids stay engaged and excited.
4. Focus on Quality Over Quantity
   • Why It Helps: It’s not about how much time you spend together but how meaningful that time feels.
   • What to Do:
     • Dedicate time to specific family-focused activities, like playing games, making decorations, or sharing stories.
     • Prioritize moments of connection over perfection—don’t stress over every detail of the season.
     • Encourage each family member to contribute to holiday preparations, fostering teamwork and collaboration.
   • Bonus Tip: Create a family gratitude jar where everyone, including the absent parent, contributes notes of thankfulness to share during a call or when reunited.
5. Plan a Post-Holiday Celebration
   • Why It Helps: Looking forward to a future event helps ease the disappointment of being apart during the holidays.
   • What to Do:
     • Schedule a “second holiday” when the absent parent returns, complete with festive decorations, food, and gift exchanges.
     • Make it a unique family tradition to celebrate together on a different day.
     • Use this time to reflect on the season and create new memories as a family.
   • Bonus Tip: Document holiday highlights in photos or videos to share during the post-holiday celebration.

While being apart during the holidays can feel challenging, it also presents an opportunity to grow closer as a family by fostering creativity, flexibility, and intentional connection. By focusing on shared experiences, maintaining traditions, and planning for the future, families can strengthen their bonds and keep the spirit of togetherness alive.

This holiday season, remember that family cohesion isn’t about proximity—it’s about the love, support, and connection you share, no matter the distance.