Coping Strategies for Loneliness in FIFO Relationships
For families with a partner working a FIFO (Fly-In-Fly-Out) job, the experience of living apart can be both rewarding and challenging. FIFO jobs, typically found in mining, construction, and oil & gas industries, often involve long periods away from home — sometimes weeks or even months. For the partner left behind, this can create loneliness, isolation, and disconnection from the person they love.
In this blog post, we’ll talk about the unique emotional challenges families face in FIFO relationships, particularly the loneliness that can arise, and we’ll offer practical strategies for coping with these difficulties in a healthy and hopeful way.
The Reality of FIFO Relationships: Loneliness and Emotional Strain
While a FIFO arrangement can offer financial stability and career opportunities, the emotional toll of spending extended periods apart can sometimes be underestimated. Loneliness in FIFO relationships is not just about missing your partner physically; it’s about missing the emotional connection, the shared routines, and the everyday moments that make up a life together.
For the partner at home, there can be a deep sense of longing and frustration. The absence of their significant other may leave them feeling unsupported or isolated. There’s also the challenge of managing the household, finances, and any children or pets on their own for long periods. The pressure to balance work, personal life, and household responsibilities without the emotional backup of a partner can feel overwhelming.
The partner who works away may also experience their own form of loneliness. Though busy with work, they miss the comfort of home and the connection with their family. The constant back-and-forth between the “work-life” and “home life” can create a sense of disjointedness and difficulty in maintaining meaningful relationships.
The Emotional Toll of FIFO: Key Feelings to Acknowledge
- Loneliness: Being physically apart means that the small, intimate moments of daily life are missing, and those moments are often the glue that binds relationships together.
- Disconnection: The gap between home and work life can become pronounced over time. Partners may feel they’re no longer “on the same page,” leading to misunderstandings or emotional distance.
- Guilt: The partner at home may feel guilty for needing or missing the other person, while the partner away may feel guilty for not being there.
- Uncertainty: FIFO families often live with a sense of unpredictability, not knowing exactly when or how long their partner will be away or their emotional needs at any given time.
Coping Strategies for FIFO Families
Though FIFO relationships come with their fair share of difficulties, several strategies can help families cope with loneliness and stay connected despite the physical distance.
- Establish Clear and Consistent Communication
While technology can’t replace the presence of a loved one, it can help bridge the gap. Establishing clear and consistent communication is vital. Whether through daily phone calls, text messages, or video chats, staying in touch regularly can help maintain an emotional connection. Set aside time each day to check in and make it a priority to be present, even for just a few minutes.
However, it’s also essential to manage expectations around communication. The partner away may not always have the time or energy to be in constant contact, and understanding this can reduce frustration. Instead of focusing on the quantity of communication, focus on its quality.
- Plan Visits and Create Special Routines
One of the key ways to cope with loneliness is to look forward to when your partner returns home. Plan visits or short getaways when your partner is on break. Having something to look forward to can help break the long periods apart.
When your partner is home, try to reconnect by creating unique routines, such as a weekly date night or weekend activity that strengthens your bond. These moments help remind you both of the importance of your relationship and provide a sense of normalcy.
- Find Support Systems and Build a Network
Isolation can often feel worse when you’re navigating it alone. It can help to build a strong support network of friends, family, or others who understand the unique dynamics of a FIFO relationship. Sharing experiences with others who “get it” can provide a sense of camaraderie and emotional validation.
If you have children, try to involve them in activities that foster connection and joy, such as playdates, family outings, or hobbies. This will help with feelings of loneliness and create positive experiences that balance the tough times.
- Create a Sense of Routine and Structure
A predictable routine can help you feel more grounded when your partner is away. Creating a sense of normalcy through daily or weekly activities—cooking together, watching a favourite show, or setting aside time for a walk or exercise—helps maintain emotional health and reduces stress.
Maintaining a healthy routine while at work is also essential for the partner away. Regular sleep, exercise, and downtime are crucial to staying physically and emotionally balanced during your time away.
- Focus on Self-Care and Personal Growth
Self-care is an essential part of maintaining emotional resilience during a FIFO relationship. When your partner is away, it can be easy to put yourself last, but this is precisely when you need to focus on nurturing your well-being. Whether it’s making time for a hobby, exercising, reading, or spending time with friends, caring for yourself can help reduce feelings of loneliness and build your emotional strength.
Additionally, consider this time as an opportunity for personal growth. Many FIFO partners use the time apart to work on individual goals, whether advancing their career, learning a new skill, or focusing on health and fitness. This can also help foster a sense of fulfillment and reduce feelings of stagnation.
- Seek Professional Support If Needed
If the loneliness and emotional strain start to feel overwhelming, talking to a therapist or counsellor may be helpful. Therapy can offer a safe space to discuss feelings and explore strategies for improving communication, emotional well-being, and relationship dynamics. It can also help address any underlying stressors that may exacerbate loneliness.
Looking Ahead: Hopeful Perspectives on FIFO Relationships
While FIFO relationships unquestionably come with challenges, it’s important to remember that they also offer opportunities for growth and connection. Many FIFO families develop unique strengths and resilience through the experience of navigating distance.
The key is to maintain open communication, nurture your emotional health, and continue finding ways to feel connected. Every relationship will have its ups and downs, and navigating the complexities of FIFO living is no different. But by facing these challenges together—from afar or side by side—you can build a stronger, more fulfilling partnership.
The emotional connection you share with your partner doesn’t disappear when they are away—it can evolve and grow stronger through the strategies you employ to stay connected and support each other. Ultimately, the love and effort you put into making the relationship work will be the foundation for overcoming the loneliness that sometimes comes with living apart.
Stay hopeful, stay strong, and remember that this chapter, like any other, will pass. And with it, your bond can deepen in ways you never imagined.